Following my mother’s calling

One behalf of my family and me, I wanted to thank you all for the generous and kind condolences following yesterday’s loss my my beloved 92 yo mother.  While body was weak, and her dementia advanced, I was comforted to hear how my brother Enrique was with her, and that she passed painless.  

The loss of a parent is always a shock, particularly for those of us who are separated by many miles and an ocean from our parents.  But feeling blessed to have spent a few weeks in Lima with her just last month.  I look back on those days as a gift, a gift which I will cherish for many years.  

When my father passed away just 13 months ago, we all reunited in Lima to grieve as one. And while we are all clearly grieving following her loss, my travel to Lima has been complicated; not by distance, time or cost, but by a calling.   Perhaps I should explain.  

While I was walking solo on El Camino yesterday, before the fateful news of my mother’s departure, I was uncharacteristically pulled towards a small stone chapel hidden within a small tree covered park 200 meters from the path early that afternoon.  As I approached the chapel, I noticed the large dark wooden doors were closed/locked.  As I turned back towards the path, I looked around and found a gardner.  I asked him if I could enter, and after a little persisting, he let me in.  When the gardner told me how it was a chapel dedicated to archangel Michael, I thought brilliant, a great place to say a prayer for family and friends battling for good health. 

A few hours after this detour, my brother in law mentioned how my mum passed away a few hours earlier.  I wept immediately, not just from the news, but because I now understood why I felt so compelled to enter this small stone chapel.  You need to understand how you see dozens of similar chapels each day while on the Camino.  Yet this one, on the same day and near the same time that my mother passed, I was inexplicably pulled towards this chapel to say a prayer.  I appreciate that I am a romantic at heart, but I do believe from the bottom of my heart that it was my mother who called me into this chapel to say her good bye.  

As I finished my walk later that day, and lit a candle in her honour inside the local cathedral, a sweet nun approached me and suggested I attend the daily mass, as they’d turn the service in her honour.  Imagine that, in a small town named Carrion, they dedicated the service to Norah Prugue in Peru.  I was beyond touched, with the local townspeople approaching me afterwards to pass on their sincere condolences. 

Later that night, as I was looking into flights from Leon to Madrid, then to Lima, something just didn’t feel “right”.  I flew Sydney to Lima for my father’s funeral, but this time I could feel my mother’s presence in me telling me to finish El Camino.  

Appreciate that this may sound self centred, and while I have had many great memories walking El Camino, it should not be forgotten that this is truly a pilgrimage; not just as a religious one, but spiritual as soul filling.  If the definition of a pilgrimage is a long spiritual quest, then these past 18 days have been just that.  They have tried my body, my feet, and now my spirit.  Through my mother, and however cliche as it may sound, I feel my walking this Camino as a true spiritual quest, one hopefully fulfilling my spirit and soul.  And if so, then why wouldn’t my mother want me to continue?  She has always understood me, wanting the most for me, and selflessly wanting me to find the kind of happiness which warms a heart.  

So I continue my Camino.  And while today I passed the halfway mark of 380kms/245 miles in 18 days, my remaining 380 kms will be dedicated to my love for my mother.  The same woman who shared compassion and empathy, let alone was my role model for such attributes.   I miss her terribly so, but I will carry her in each step I take.  I love you my sweet mother, and I thank you for not only giving me a heart beat, but for giving me love to fill it.  I will hold you close inside. I promise.